I've mentioned before that in my web research about retirement I've been struck by how much material out there is about money. And it is about a specific aspect of money: saving enough. One could even say it is really more about supporting the lifestyles of members of the financial planning community than anything else!

However, what is talked about almost as little as the quality of life issues associated with retirement are the quirky money situations that can arise around retirement. Let me give you some examples:

If you choose to live with your adult children, how do you deal with the money issues? Are you investing capital in the purchase of a home that will support you all? If so, what honest, open conversations are you having about what happens long term. What happens to your investment when you eventually either die or need to move into some sort of care facility? If you have other children, how are their financial interests taken care of long term? If your children become insolvent or otherwise lose their ability to meet their financial obligations where does that leave you?

In my experience there is a lot of bullying, pressure and outright abuse that goes on in these kinds of situations that nobody is willing to talk about or address.

If you aren't investing capital but are living with adult children, what conversations are you having with them about who makes the decisions about financial priorities, the type and quantity of food, decor, and entertainment that is possible and acceptable. What about privacy issues? Whose standards of tidyness and cleanliness will be adhered to? What kind of complaint or problem resolution process will you put in place?

Then there are the loans that are not at all unusual amongst families. Who gets to know about them? How do you deal with quibbling amongst siblings? How do you protect your long-term financial intersts? Consider that you loan a child a significant amount of money to buy a house, start a business or pay off debts. You are still working and retirement is several years away and you are more than happy to help your children out. But what happens if life suddenly changes for you and your health starts to suffer and you need that money back. Is it gone forever? What arrangements have you put in place and what agreements do you have about repayment?

I remember that my mother-in-law helped my husband and me out several times when we were getting started. The amounts were never grand, a few thousand dollars here or there, but at the time it made a huge difference for us. We were always insistent that we sign a Promissory Note to her acknowledging receipt of the money and briefly outlining the terms for borrowing. We would both sign it and leave it with her so that if anything happened it would be with her financial papers and could be factored into the closing out of her estate. I believe that it is one of the reasons that I had such a deep friendship with my mother-in-law. She always knew just where she stood with us in any financial dealings.

I mention this now because in the past weeks I've come across a number of people who are struggling with these kinds of money conversations, or more accurately, the outfall from not having held these kinds of money conversations.

As I edge towards retirement (and today retirement is feeling very far away as a possibility because I just completed delivering a fabulous Creativity workshop!) I know that my hubbie and I need to be having these conversations about how we'll engage with his children in the future. I feel comforted that we've already developed a model that works for us based on our relationship with his Mom ...and I know that we'll have to stay awake and create something that will be tailored to the future situations in which we find ourselves.

Have you ever thought about money in a broader context than saving enough and knowing what you need for your monthly living expenses? As you edge towards retirement now might be a good time to think through these bigger questions about money and what kinds of processes are likely to work for you.