Space. How much is enough? How much is too much? I'm talking here about actual physical space. I believe this is a similar conversation to the togetherness one. Having recently downsized, my husband and I have become more than aware of the space conversation. We are currently living in a home that is pretty much exactly half the size of the home we lived in for 16 years.

It is certainly large enough for our needs. We each have our own room plus our master bedroom. We are thrilled with our very open concept home and very much enjoy the new neighbourhood to which we've moved. However, we are aware of certain on-going pressures.

We sure don't have the closet space we used to and so we're having to confront our packrat tendencies. I never really believed I was a packrat until this downsizing invited me to notice not only how much stuff I'd held on to over the years, but how difficult it was to let a lot of it go. And Greg is even more committed to his stuff.

Sound is another challenge. Greg's room is an open loft above the living room and we are both very aware of a certain lack of privacy that generates. While I don't have any secrets, I am aware that I've had years of being able to yak with my friends by going into a room and closing the door. I find that I feel intrusive now because there are only my room upstairs and our master bedroom where we have doors that offer privacy. The much smaller floor space involved in this house also means that our voices carry much more readily than in the big house. Similar issues develop around TV watching, radio listening and playing music. None of which are big issues, but I'm noticing that over time it is like there is a pressure building for privacy.

Car jockeying is the third big challenge. Now that we have a single car garage someone is always running out to move one car out of the way. Fortunately that is usually Greg because he has decided that my car belongs in the garage and that he needs to be responsible for moving his vehicle. Not too bad during our short summer but it gets to be a royal pain once the cold sets in and the trek involves putting on boots, coat, gloves and hat when it is deeply below zero outside.

We've been here for 3 years now and are settling into a routine. But we are aware of the pressure points and know that we need to take action to make certain that on-going irritations don't erupt into big issues. I have recently rented an office outside my home and have become aware of how freeing it feels to have a place to go to that is all mine. It has gotten me to wondering what life will be like should we ever decide to fully retire and we were in one another's space 24/7.

Have you thought about your physical space needs? If you are downsizing or have downsized have you thought about how much privacy you require and whether your new location meets your needs in that way? Women in particular I think need to pay attention to this conversation and to ensure that their needs are met. I think that because we so often are in charge of much of our domestic life we frequently see the kitchen as our space without noticing that it is also a very public space. What becomes possible for us when we have an office or a room to retreat to as we need it? What creativity begins to flow when we can go somewhere and shut the door behind us, secure in the knowledge that we can putter, read, think, talk or play without interruption, attitude or opinion of anyone else? In what way does life become more meaningful for any of us when we reserve a space just for us and our interests?

Being willing to demand a space for ourSelf requires that we value ourSelf enough to think that we are worthy of that space. When we hold that we are worthy of something we are standing up and being counted in the world ...surely a key aspect to creating a meaningful life.

So how much space do you need? How does that compare to how much you give yourself permission to have? Who do you become as you edge towards retirement and continue to claim your right to your own space?