Do you ever wonder if you'll ever get over your bad habits? Which are the ones that concern you about taking with you into retirement, or at least into old age if you're one of us who have decided that you aren't retiring? And why is that even important you may well ask. Because there is lots and lots of clear evidence that unless we take some specific action, we don't change all that much as we age.

The bad habits we have in youth and middle age move forward with us as we get older, familiar companions that comfort us in some strange way even as they drive us crazy. What are yours? Are you a spendthrift? Do you eat too much? Exercise to little? Have affairs? Flirt? Are you miserly? Do you struggle to enjoy yourself? Are you an unhappy person in your heart and soul?

I remember having a conversation with a potential coaching client some time ago. This person was having a fair bit of difficulty in his interpersonal relationships but wasn't convinced that coaching would make a difference for him. Like many of us, he had a host of reasons and justifications for why he was having so much difficulty in his life. And almost all of his reasons and justifications had to do with things outside of himself. He was too busy to meet everyone else's needs, he had had a difficult early life and hadn't really learned how to be 'politically correct', he had a commitment to being brutally honest with himself and everyone else, etc., etc. As we talked he revealed that he was looking forward to his retirement which was about 10 years away. His concerns about investing in coaching were that he might waste all this time and money because once he was retired he just knew that none of this was going to be an issue for him because when he retired he just knew that he'd have enough time and money to correct all the issues he currently faced. As he put it, he'd finally be able to be happy!

After I stopped laughing we had an interesting chat about how it was highly unlikely that his experience of retirement was going to be any different than his experience was right now, unless and until he chose to commit himself to a course of action that would create some internal differences in his way of thinking about himself and the world around him. We change very little in our beliefs, values and attitudes because our external circumstances change. Typically, we need to decide that we are going change and then create some sort of intervention that will invite us to change.

I say typically because there is always the possibility that some highly potent, external thing will happen that will be the invitation for us to see the world and ourselves differently. The death of a cherised person or pet can sometimes do that, a near death experience, a major loss or accident can also be triggers. But most of the time, for most of us, unless we decide to discover a new way to see the world, we just keep on recreating variations on the same old theme, over and over again. Think about it. How many people go bankrupt multiple times in their lives? Do they set out to keep creating that experience? I don't think so. But for many, simply getting out from under the crushing debt load isn't sufficient motivation to make the kind of changes necessary to not go bankrupt again. How about all those people who marry multiple times? Who move from one lousy job to another over the decades?

They are all repeating certain habits of thinking that keep recreating the same general scenarios. And unless and until they find some sort of way to break the habits, life will continue along that path ...yes, all the way to the grave. Given that our baby boomer generation is one that isn't inclined to live out our habits and patterns in quiet, I'm wondering what kind of colorfully desperate retirements we're about to create for ourselves? I can just see many of us at 75 getting married or declaring bankruptcy for the 6th, 7th or 8th time!

So I encourage you to begin to pay attention to what you hold as your bad habits and begin to wonder how long you are going to allow them to interfere with you having the kind of life you long for? Now is a time in our history when we have almost unlimited access to books and processes that allow us to change whatever we don't like or believe isn't working about our lives. Why wait any longer? Wouldn't it be great to use the years you're edging towards retirement to actually set yourself up so that you can enjoy it once it arrives? Anyone want to come for a walk with me?