Eccentricity. To me, eccentricity is about daring to be different. The first definition my dictionary has for the word is 'not having the same centre'. And while this definition has a geometrical application (they are talking about two circles) it struck me that it suits a human application just as well. It applies to those who know and accept that what drives them, what excites them, what makes life worth living is defined by them rather than by societal norms.

One of the truisms of our culture is that people tend to become more eccentric as they get older. And many of their friends, colleagues and relatives become increasingly concerned about their eccentricities: are they losing it? are they moving towards some sort of mental la-la land? are they in danger of becoming some sort of a threat to themselves or others?

I have always relished the ways in which I believe I am eccentric and have lived for years with well meaning advice from others about how much more 'successful' (i.e. make more money) I'd be if I 'toned down' or 'took the edge off' my idiosyncracies. So I was thrilled to read in Ernie Zelinski's excellent book How to Retire Happy, Wild and Free that there is a body of research that shows that:

"true eccentrics are much happier than the rest of the population. Moreover, they are healthier and tend to live much longer. ...True eccentrics are creative, curious, idealistic, intelligent, opinionated, and obsessed with some hobby. These non-conformists give themselves the freedom to be themselves, a luxury that most people in society haven't learned how to enjoy. Eccentricity allows them to pursue hobbies and lifestyles that are their passions. Freed from the need to conform, eccentrics aren't bothered by what others think about them. It follows that only those who can be eccentric can truly live. Thus, celebrate your eccentricity and you will be set free. Your self-development and movement towards self-actualization will be wondrous, mysterious, and fascinating."

I have long subscribed to the belief that one of the benefits women experience with aging is that we rediscover our individual essence and rejoice unabashedly in it as society's expectations of ourselves as sexual beings diminishes. For many of us, menopause ushers in a period of stepping into our eccentricies, into our unabashed power, into our creative potential! No wonder many of our husbands and children look at us strangely as we choose to set aside our willingness to conform to society's norms and begin to truly express the full dimensionality of who we are ...and that includes our willingness to say NO! ...to push back ...to claim space and time for ourselves. In many families the 'little woman' becomes someone only seen in brief flashes before.

I'm off now to discover more about the work of psychologist David Weeks and writer Jamie James who have been studying eccentrics for some time. Who knows, I just may help to inspire many of you to begin to let the 'real you' come out to play for the first time in decades!!